Holi Hindu Spring Festival of Colours Assembly A riot! An explosion of colour! Well, not quite. It's those wretched Health and Safety Regulations spoiling all the fun again. That, and a teacher who's prime concern is not to upset the caretaker. But never fear, fun usually succeeds at finding a way through - and there is a great deal of Bollywood dancing and laughter along the way! Oh plus some facts behind the festival of course! Cast of 30. Duration 10 - 20 minutes depending on amount of music/dancing Sample Text: Narrator: Er wait a minute! Don’t go spilling any of that blue paint on this floor! Krishna: But that’s the fun of Holi! Radha: Everyone does it! Narrator: Not on my watch, they don’t! (Narrator ushers Krishna, his mother and Radha back to their seats) Narrator: (Sighing heavily) Phew! That was a close one! Things could have got well out of hand then! (To Group 1) Come on children! Let’s hear some more about Holi! Child 11: Only if we can have a bit more dancing, first! Narrator: (Spluttering) But, but … that’s blackmail! (Group 1 all nod their heads) Narrator: Oh, very well. I don’t suppose it can do any harm! (Enter group of dancers) Music 3 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music) Narrator: (Applauding) Bravo! Well done! (To audience) You know something? This dancing is rather good, isn’t it? (Exit dancers) Child 1: Well of course it is! Holi is all about joy and fun Child 2: And that’s what dancing is about! Child 3: (Muttering) That and the paint throwing! Narrator: Now! Now! We’ve been over that! Child 4: So, we can have some more dancing, instead? (Narrator gestures dancers, who’ve got to their feet again, to sit down) Narrator: In a minute! Oh my! What is it with everyone this morning? What do you think this is? Child 5: A festival? Child 6: (Indignantly) That’s what it’s meant to be! Child 7: A celebration of good over evil! Child 8: A celebration of the start of Spring! Child 9: The end of winter! (Everyone cheers) Child 10: It’s about love and getting on with everyone. Child 11: And giving everyone what they want and enjoy. (To Narrator) More dancing? Narrator: (Sighing) Oh very well! (Enter dancers) Music 4 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music – Narrator joining in at the side) Narrator: (Applauding) Oh bravo! (To audience) It is rather catching, isn’t it?

Ancient Greeks Theseus and the Minotaur Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading (this does not include music suggestions) Monsters and heroes - not the easiest cast to deal with! But then Poseidon is more than man - sorry, make that - god enough to take this lot on! Also available (as separate purchase): This assembly plus Guided Reading Script plus Quiz (one of large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell) Sample Text: Music 1 – El Matador Music (Cast file into hall, in order of speaking, taking seats along two rows of fifteen facing the audience) Poseidon: Welcome to this tale about (Enter Theseus) Music 2 Holding Out for a Hero – Bonnie Tyler (chorus) (Theseus strides up and down, bracing his muscles and striking various ‘heroic postures’) Theseus: A hero! That’s me, Theseus! (Theseus gestures to cast to cheer) (Whole cast cheers) Poseidon: And (Enter Minotaur) Music 3 Deeper Underground – Jamiroquai (chorus) (Minotaur ‘skulks’ up and down, glaring at both cast and audience) Minotaur: Me! The Minotaur! (Minotaur ‘paws the ground’, snorts in anger and glares at cast who all boo) Poseidon: Hmm. Quite a split! In fact Theseus: (Interrupting) You could say, Good versus Evil! Poseidon: (Glaring at Theseus) I could! But I’m not going to, if it’s all the same to you! (To audience, aside) These heroes! Think they’re God’s Gift! Theseus: Well, you may not have regarded me as a gift (pauses) Dad! (Pauses) But my other father did! (Enter Aegeus) Aegeus: Ah Theseus, my son! There you are! (To audience) I hope you haven’t been listening too much to this god, here (pointing at Poseidon). Gods! Way too much time on their hands and far too many off spring to show for it! Poseidon: What was that? Aegeus: Oh nothing, Poseidon! Just commenting on how creatively you fill your time. Truly awesome! Poseidon: Well, as God of the Seas I guess I am rather (pauses) what did you say? Oh, awesome, that’s right! A shame not everyone was in such awe of me as you! (Enter Minos) (Whole cast hisses and boos) Minos: (Angrily) Hey! That’s no way to greet the King of Crete! Aegeus: (Contemptuously) Pah! Some king you were! Minos: (Laughing) Huh! And you were any better, oh great King of Athens? (Pauses) Now, just remind me. Who had to send human sacrifices to who? Aegeus: (Exclaiming) Why, you evil, wicked, cruel, vindictive .. Poseidon: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. I think we get it. You two didn’t like each other much, did you? Aegeus: Oh I’ve barely started.

Evolution Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 (easily adjustable) Duration: Around 20 minutes without the inclusion of music suggestions. This script has ‘serious factual content’ including a timeline from the beginning of time to the present, but it has plenty of humour including a seriously bad set of jokes at the end! This assembly or class play is based on the Evolution and Inheritance unit of study and has the following coverage: How fossils record changes that living things undergo over millions of years Shared characteristics of parents and offspring Adaptation and evolution of animals and plants in order to survive in different habitats/how characteristics are acquired rather than inherited/natural selection How creatures change over long periods of time Sample Text: (Enter Giant Tortoise slowly) Narrator: (Sarcastically) In your own time! Giant Tortoise: Hey! No need to rush! And it’s not like I have any predators to run from. Narrator: Just as well! Have you had far to come? Giant Tortoise: I live on the Galapagos islands, off the South American coast. Narrator: Whoa! That’s a long way! Giant Tortoise: Not as far as Mr Darwin travelled on his five-year trip! Narrator: So, you met the great man? (Enter Finch) Finch: We certainly did! Took some of us home with him! (Enter Darwin) Darwin: (To Giant Tortoise and Finch) You got me thinking about (To Giant Tortoise) Different patterned shells (To Finch) Different shaped beaks. You see, these creatures were different on each island suggesting they had adapted to their immediate environment. Giant Tortoise & Finch: (Together) Fascinating! (Exit Giant Tortoise & Finch) Narrator: Shall we look at some other examples? Darwin: (Enthusiastically) Certainly! Music 3 Parade of the Charioteers (Enter Stag and Peacock, both strutting proudly across stage) Stag: Look at my fine antlers! (Looks at audience) Anyone want to take me on? Peacock: Huh! No need for any violence! Just look at my magnificent display (opens tail to full effect). Who could not be impressed with me? Narrator: (Thoughtfully) Hmm. They are rather winning features Stag: It’s called ‘survival of the fittest’! Peacock: You’ve gotta have what it takes you know!

Dinosaurs Rock Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered which dinosaur was the *biggest, the smallest, the most heavily armoured, the brightest, the fastest, the deadliest, the weirdest ..... Read on and find out! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes not including music Also available, set of guided reading dinosaur scripts Sample Text Music 2 - We Will Rock You - Queen (Enter Seismosaurus, Mamenchisaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Carcharodontosaurus) (Everyone shaking in seats) Narrator: What's happening? Is it an earthquake? Seismosaurus: Sorry! That would be me! I'll try not to move - all 120 feet of me! They don't call me ‘earth-shaking lizard' for nothing! Mamenchisaurus: But when you've got necks as long as us, you really don't need to move that far! My neck alone was 46 feet long! Gigantosaurus: And I, Gigantosaurus, was the daddy of the meat-eaters! All 8,000 kilograms of me! Carcharondontaurus: And I sure had a mean pair of ‘choppers' - no prizes for guessing where my name ‘shark-tooth lizard' came from! Spinosaurus: Well, take a look at my jaws! I, Spinosaurus, was called spiny lizard because of these spines on my back, but nobody was going to argue with these (snapping crocodile-like jaws, open and shut) For optional poetry addition see The Dinosaurs That Time Forgot by David Harmer and Paul Cookson. Writer, Sue Russell, has included information from recent discovery of 'the largest' as per Telegraph article "Giant of giants rises from the desert" May 18 2014

International Children's Book Day Assembly or Class Play This script was written in celebration of International Children's Book Day April 2nd 2017 including characters from Horrid Henry, Peter Pan, The Gruffalo, Charlotte's Web, Captain Underpants, Matilda, The Tales of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. NB This is the same script as World Book Day Assembly but adapted to International Children's Book Day. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration: Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions Sample Text: Narrator: Thank you! Of course there is so much to celebrate in the world of literature! All those wonderful inspirational characters! (Enter Horrid Henry, scowling) Horrid Henry: Dah! I suppose you’ve got a whole line up of squeaky clean characters for us today? Just got one word to say to that – BORING! Narrator: And you are? (Pauses) Oh, don’t tell me – Horrid Henry! (Aside to Audience) A shame he had to start us off today! Definitely not one of our more likeable characters! (To Henry) Now, if you don’t mind, I do have a lot of other, shall we say ‘more wholesome characters’ to introduce! Horrid Henry: (Scowling) Please yourself! (Exit Horrid Henry, giving exaggerated ‘yawns’) Narrator: (To Audience) Oh dear! Sorry about that! Let’s see if we can ‘raise the bar’ a little! (Peter Pan ‘flies’ onto the stage) Narrator: Ah! Peter Pan! How nice to meet you! Peter Pan: The pleasure is all mine! (Enter Wendy and Tinkerbell) Peter Pan: I’d like you to meet Wendy: (Curtseying) Wendy (looking at Peter Pan adoringly) Darling! Tinkerbell: (Trying to ‘swoosh’ Wendy out of the way) And Peter’s favourite, Tinkerbell! Peter Pan: (Laughing) Now, now Tinkerbell! We have spoken about that jealousy thing! (Tinkerbell pulls a face, sulking) Wendy: Oh but she’s so adorable! You can’t be cross with her for long! (Enter Horrid Henry) Horrid Henry: What was I saying about those yukky sugary-sweet characters? Time to introduce some more interesting ones! (Horrid Henry beckons to Captain Cook and Crocodile) (Enter Captain Cook and Crocodile, snapping at Narrator’s heels) Narrator: (Angrily) Who let this beast on here? (Glaring at Horrid Henry) Oh I might have known you’d be up to no good!

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Christmas Play Cast of 30 (with some doubling up) Duration: around 30 minutes (without music suggestions) This is a fun, simple to produce a class play or assembly - it can also be used for panto purposes. After writing the set of guided reading scripts based on the story, I couldn't resist writing another play whilst the story and characters were still fresh in my head! Though Dorothy is not quite as 'wholesome' as in the original story and the Wizard of Oz is a little more 'versatile' in this version! Also available: • The Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10 of these, with 6 speakers each; around 3 minutes each – total reading time around 30 minutes) • The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Play – the non-Xmas version! Sample Text: (Toto reluctantly wags tail at Dorothy) Dorothy: (Patting Toto on the head) That’s better! An obedient pooch! Now we can get the show on the road! Toto: But, just as a matter of interest, what happened to that other Dorothy – the one I rehearsed with? Dorothy: (Dismissively) Oh didn’t you hear? She got caught up in one too many cyclones! Nasty business if you don’t get it right! (Sound of howling wind, followed by long scream) Music 2 Ding Dong the Witch is Dead Narrator: Good heavens! What on earth was that? (Enter Good Witch of the North, with great panache and thunderous applause from the cast, carrying a pair of silver shoes. She is accompanied by three Munchkins) Good Witch: (Curtseying to the cast) Ah thank you so much! (Cast continues to clap and cheer) Good Witch: Oh now, really. You’re too kind! Dorothy: (Scowling) I’ll say! How come I didn’t get that kind of reception? Good Witch: Oh dear! What’s with the scowly face? That’s not very pretty, dear! Toto: (To Good Witch) I think she’s a bit put out – that you seem to have stolen the show! Good Witch: (Incredulously) Stolen the show? Me? The Good Witch of the North? With all my panache and presence? Oh, surely not? (Good Witch twirls and beams broadly from ear to ear) Good Witch: (To Dorothy) I bet you too have loads of superstar qualities! (Pauses) Only, you’re just keeping them rather well hidden! Dorothy: Huh! I’ll have you know, some of us have business to attend to! Good Witch: Well, I have to hand it to you. Killing the Wicked Witch of the East was pretty smart! Toto: (Exclaiming) She what? Good Witch: (Waving silver shoes around) Oh yes! And here’s the evidence! Bit of inspiration, my dear, landing that house directly on top of the witch! Here are her shoes, all that’s left of her!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach

Robin Hood Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 15 minutes reading time. This does not include *music suggestions/dance routines which could potentially double the length of the performance. So, are those Merry Men about to have their smiles turned upside down? Never! Not even in the face of those brutish Guards? Double never! Not when you've got some neat tricks/moves up the sleeves of your tunic! See how good triumphs over evil without any blood being shed - it is a family show! *Sample Playlist • Bad – Michael Jackson • I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas • Happy – Pharrell Williams Sample Text Narrator: Hey! You might think you’re a hero! Peasant 1: But you haven’t done anything yet! Narrator: Right! All that dancing and prancing! Peasant 2: You need to demonstrate to us that you’re a hero! Narrator: No more theatrics! Peasant 3: Prove yourself! Narrator: Stop all this lovey dovey stuff – that can wait til later! Peasant 4: It’s our futures you need to change! Peasant 5: Show us you’re the man you say you are! Peasant 6: Take on those baddies! Peasant 7: Be our hero! Robin Hood: Hey! Steady on! I may be pretty good with this bow and arrow Maid Marion: (Sighing) The best, or so I’ve heard! Robin Hood: But taking on the whole of Prince John’s crowd? Whoa! That’s a tall order! (Enter Little John, squaring up to his great height) Little John: Well, I, Little John, am more than up to the challenge! (Enter rest of Merry Men) Friar Tuck: And you can count me, Friar Tuck, in! Alan-a-Dale: And me, Alan-a-Dale! Will Scarlet: And me, Will Scarlet! Much the Miller’s Son: And me, Much the Miller’s Son! Narrator: (Clutching head) Oh wow! That’s some fighting force you have there, Robin! An overweight man of the church, a minstrel, an ex-soldier and a miller’s son! Peasant 1: (Sarcastically) Wonderful! Peasant 2: More than enough to take on Prince John’s men! Peasant 3: They won’t know what’s hit them! Peasant 4: The friar’s belly Peasant 5: The minstrel’s lute Peasant 6: The ex-soldier’s rusting sword Peasant 7: Or the miller’s son’s bag of flour! Peasant 1: Some army! Come on, folks. Let’s leave this lot to their fantasies! (Exit Peasants, muttering sadly) (Enter Prince John, Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisborne plus Guards) Sir Guy of Gisborne: (To Robin Hood) Aha! The villain himself! Seize him, guards! (Guards seize Robin Hood) Maid Marion: Why you cowards! Seven against one! I’d hardly say that was fair! Sheriff of Nottingham: (Laughing) But hadn’t you heard, sweet lady? Nothing is fair around here!

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Love Is .... Assembly This class play on Love looks at what love means to each of us. Although it was written for Key Stage I (5 – 7 year olds) it can easily be adapted for use at Key Stage II (7 – 11 year olds) - the playlist of 10 suggested songs will be enjoyed by all ages. For scripts specific to Valentine’s Day, check out Sue Russell’s alternative Romeo and Juliet scripts. Cast of 25 - easily adapted up or down. Duration - around 15 - 20 mins (potential of doubling this with all music choices) Sample Text: (Enter Child 10, carrying a puppy) Music 7 Puppy Love – Donny Osmond Narrator: Ahh! (Gestures for everyone else to go ‘Ahhh!’) Who can resist a puppy? (Exit Child 10 plus puppy) (Enter Child 11, skipping) Narrator: Wow! Great skipping! You obviously love it! Child 11: And it’s good for me! (Exit Child 11, smiling happily) Narrator: Yes, any form of exercise is good for you! (Enter Child 12) Music 8 Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake (Whole cast singing and dancing) Narrator: And why do you love dancing so much? Child 12: How can you not love dancing? (Exit Child 12 smiling) Narrator: (Trying a few moves) Well, it is good exercise! (Enter Child 13, eating large bar of chocolate) Music 9 Sugar Sugar - The Archies Narrator: Hmm. I’m not sure this is quite so good for you! Child 13: Oh, but I just love chocolate! Who doesn’t? (Exit Child 13) Narrator: (Rubbing tummy) Mmmm. Beginning to feel a bit hungry! (Enter Child 14, reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’)

Anglo-Saxon School Assembly or Class Play Cast Size - 30 - easily adapted up or down. Approximate duration: Around 15 to 20 minutes. Ever wondered about the origins of your birth place? Why is it something-ton and not something-ham? Or why archaeologists get so excited over some old clay pots …or nails? Also available set of 5 guided reading play scripts plus quizzes - Introduction, Anglo-Saxon Life, Sutton Hoo Discovery, Beowulf, and Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table SAMPLE TEXT Arch 1: Look at this! Phosphate remains. That means there must have been a body here when the ship was buried…so this was actually a grave! Arch 2: And with all this treasure we’ve found, the person buried here must have been important! 4. GHOSTBUSTERS THEME MUSIC (Ghosthunters team rush on, searching for ghost) Narrator: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Who called you lot? Ghosthunter 1: Haven’t you heard? There’s a ghost on the loose! Goes by the name of Raewald, King of East Anglia. Died about 625 AD but forgot to take his Kwells (holds up packet of sea sickness tablets) before being buried with his ship. Ghosthunter 2: Yes, it’s all very fine having all this gold and silver …but not much good to you if you’re prone to a bit of the ol’ sea sickness. Ghosthunter 3: We’re here to give him his tablets so he can at last …Rest In Peace. Narrator: Could I suggest you’d stand a better chance of catching this sea-sick ghost if you were a little quieter (beckoning them all off stage). Wait here! TEACHING ‘COVERAGE’ Unit 6B Anglo-Saxon Assembly (i) Where Anglo-Saxons came from (ii) Timeline: 410 AD – 1066 (iii) Alfred the Great (iv) Runic’ alphabet (v) Origins of our days of the week (vi) Place names – Anglo Saxon origins (vii) Living conditions (viii) Sutton Hoo: archaeological finds and background

Environment Assembly - what can we do to help? Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down. Narrator plus 29 protestors! And who would have thought our narrator would find himself ... a protestor? Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions). The length of the script can of course be easily extended by adding on more information about man's negative impact on the environment and what we can do to reduce our carbon footprints. Sample text: Protestor 28: We can all do something Protestor 29: Even if it’s just in our own back yard. Narrator: (Applauding) Ah! Now you’re making sense! You see, sometimes I think we look at the big picture Protestor 1: (Interrupting) And feel overwhelmed? Narrator: Exactly! I mean, we all know about global warming, the greenhouse effect, the destruction of rainforests. And I for one think, well, what can I do about it? Protestor 1: And the good news is Whole cast: (Shouting together) Plenty! Narrator: Oh really? Well, you know something? I’m feeling better already! Protestor 2: So, here’s what we can do to help and sustain our world. Narrator: Hold on! Could you just explain what you mean by that last bit? Protestor 2: What? You mean the bit about sustaining our world? Narrator: Yes. If you would, please. Protestor 3: OK. So what we mean by sustaining life on this planet is looking after it in a way or ways which will last. We’re not looking for quick fix solutions which won’t last. Narrator: Excellent. And by ‘life’ Protestor 4: We don’t just mean that of us human beings Protestor 5: But the life of plants Protestor 6: Wildlife Protestor 7: Ecosystems Protestor 8: And habitats Narrator: You mean like the rainforests, the poles, the deserts, the oceans Protestor 9: Well, yes. But there are places far nearer to home that we can make a difference to now. Narrator: (Wiping his brow) Phew! I am so relieved you said that. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again! Protestor 10: Let’s keep this simple! Narrator: Oh please! That would be a great comfort to me! Protestor 11: So, what can we do in our own back yard? Protestor 12: Clear it up? (Everyone laughs) Protestor 11: You’re right! That’s a good place to start. We all have way too much rubbish! Narrator: So how can we stop that? Protestor 12: How about we start with recycling? Narrator: You mean cycling … in reverse? (Everyone groans) Protestor 12: How about you leave the jokes to us! Though, recycling is no laughing matter. We should all be doing it.

The Twelve Labours of Hercules Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down; Duration around 15 minutes not including music suggestions - this could double the length of the assembly or class play. Every teacher's dream come true - an Ancient Greek superhero calling in to reignite the class's interest in a subject they have been doing all term! Hercules does so well ... until the arrival of that wicked king Eurystheus; but it doesn't take long before the latter realises his mistake in taking on this class - and it is truly heartening for all teachers everywhere to hear such respect from Hercules for their magnificent efforts! Enjoy The Twelve Labours of Hercules in fun, entertaining style - if it works for this set of children, it will definitely work for yours! Hercules features in two other scripts written by Sue Russell: 1. Superheroes Assembly for KSII – where Hercules has the dubious pleasure of converting a class of very un-super heroes … into super heroes! 2. Twelve New Labours of Hercules – in which the tables are turned on Hercules as he is the student on a self-improvement programme – this one with its focus on PSHE (i.e. ‘admirable’ character qualities!) Sample Text: Eurystheus: (To Narrator) Now. How many labours have we done? Narrator: Just three! (Loud groan from cast) Child 20: What? Nine more to go? Child 21: You have to be kidding? Child 22: This had better be good! Eurystheus: (Peevishly) What is it with these kids? A case of short attention span or what? (Cast all cross arms angrily, in defiant posture) Narrator: I’d be careful what you say, if I were you! This lot are easily upset and you might just find yourself in a bit of a spot! Eurystheus: (Laughing) Are you suggesting I should be worried by a load of kids? Oh don’t make me laugh! (To cast) Now. About this fourth labour. (Whole cast yawns loudly) Hercules’ task was to capture the Erymanthian Boar. Child 23: Did someone say ‘bore’? Child 24: As in, bore us to death’ Child 24: I think we can safely say, he already has! (Whole cast nod) Eurystheus: Now wait a minute! (Eurystheus walks over to the props box and tries to find ‘Boar’) Eurystheus: (Muttering) it must be in here somewhere! (Child 25, who had, unseen by Eurystheus, crept over to the props box and taken the Boar, pounces out at him, making him leap in the air and scream with terror; Hercules falls about laughing, as does the rest of the cast)

World Cup 2018 Leavers’ Assembly Duration: around 15 minutes. Cast size suitable for one class - or year group of two or three classes. Who would have thought Mr. Head would have so much trouble in this Leavers' Assembly - disciplining his own staff?! There's Mr. Place - a geography teacher with an unfortunate temper; there's Mrs Sums - with an unfortunate obsession with numbers; there's Mrs Write - with her unfortunate outspokenness ... are you spotting a pattern here? And as for Mr. Force from the science department ... well, let's just say he might have pushed his luck just that little bit too far on this occasion! Anyway, hat's off to Mr. Head as he struggles on. After all, football is just a game, isn't it?! Sample Text Mr. Head: Ah! Mrs Write, our Literacy expert! Mrs Write: (Enunciating every word slowly and perfectly) Good morning, Mr. Head. Good Morning, children! Students: Good morning, Mrs Write! Mrs Write: Before we go any further, I do feel it is important that our children can tell the difference between fact and fantasy! Mr. Head: Er, don't you mean facts and opinions? Mrs Write: (Impatiently) Just so! Though some of my students seem to be indulging in some very worrying fantasies at the moment. Student 1: But you're always telling us to use our imaginations, Miss! Mrs Write: ‘Tis true. But we also need to keep a certain hold on reality. And, to put it bluntly .... (pausing) Mr. Head: (Impatiently) Yes, Mrs Write. We haven't got all day! Mrs Write: Well, as long as you can assure me that I won't upset anyone in speaking my mind? Mr. Head: It's never stopped you in the past! Mrs Write: (Cagily) Well, it's about England's chances of winning the World Cup! Mr. Head: Ah! (Pauses) Now I see where you're coming from. Could I suggest you proceed with extreme caution? With extreme tact, even? Mrs Write: Oh don't you worry! You're looking at somebody who can not only write to the highest standard but is also always right in everything she says .. Mr. Head: (Aside) And so modest with it! Mrs Write: Let me just tell anyone who is nursing any illusions about England winning Mr. Head: (Anxiously) I think I mentioned tact, Mrs Write? Mrs Write: Well .... (takes a deep breath and then blurts out) England doesn't stand the faintest chance of winning the World Cup! (Mr. Head covers his head in despair, as all students rise to their feet in uproar) Mrs Write: You see what I mean? Somebody had to tell them! They shouldn't be allowed to continue believing in this fantasy! Mr. Head: (In exasperation) Mrs Write! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Like a bull in a china shop'?

International Day of Happiness Assembly A play to make you smile - I hope! Cast of 26 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 20 minutes depending on number of quotations, jokes and music suggestions included. Sample Text: Music 1 What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong (Enter 2 grumpy young girls, alias GYGs, and 2 grumpy young boys, alias GYBs, holding their hands over their heads) GYG1: What a din! GYB1: Somebody turn off that music! GYG2: Yeah! I’ve got a headache! GYB2: Me too! And it’s getting worse by the minute! (Enter Narrator) Narrator: (Coughing) Er excuse me! But hasn’t anybody told you what day it is today? GYG1: Not Monday, I hope. Worst day of the week! GYB1: Nah! Every day of the week’s bad … when you’re having to spend it at school! Narrator: Enough! Where did you lot crawl from? The wrong side of bed perhaps? (Falls about laughing) GYG2: (Sarcastically) Oh! I see we have a joker in our midst! GYB2: (Sarcastically) Oh! What fun! Narrator: Now, come on, you miserable lot! This really won’t do! (Pauses and looks towards rest of cast) Looks like we’re gonna have to tell them what day it is. Let’s hear it … Cast: (Shouting) International Day of Happiness! (Everyone holds up a smiley face) Narrator: And what do we do on International Day of Happiness? We Cast: (Shouting) Smile!

Rapunzel play cast of 6 - alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm - whom I'm guessing would by now be looking more than just a bit grim! Our play hardly sticks to the script. As with the others in this collection, the endings are just a little different! This alternative Rapunzel play (cast of 6) can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. The Wicked Witch might seem an unlikely heroine - but who else is going to accompany Rapunzel on her shopping trip? This version turns 'original' on its head giving us a truly alternative take on things. Cast size and Duration Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Other cast of six plays available in this series: Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella and Rumpelstiltskin; Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella are also available as assemblies, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down). Snow White also available as a pantomime. Sample Text (Enter Wicked Witch – Narrator gestures for audience to boo and hiss) Wicked Witch: (Angrily) Now wait just one moment! Who’s in the wrong here? (Wicked Witch points to couple) Wicked Witch: Them or me? Narrator: (Puzzled) Sorry? Wicked Witch: Oh you will be! Along with these two – or should I say, three? Father: (To Wicked Witch) How dare you threaten my wife and unborn child! Wicked Witch: (To Father) So! Just to set the record straight. Have you or have you not just helped yourself to my rampion? Father: (Spluttering) Well, I er Wicked Witch: And is this or is this not the second time you have climbed over my wall and trespassed on my property? Father: Well, um Wicked Witch: Guilty! On both counts! And not even brave enough to admit to it! So who’s the bad one now?

Wind in the Willows Play or Set of Guided Reading Scripts This script is suitable for use as Guided Reading (Readers Theater) or for performance. Instead of being sold as two separate products, it is in effect 2 for the price of 1 – as the customer can use it for either purpose. Guided Reading: The 5 scenes can be used by 5 groups of 6 children i.e. a total of 30 altogether and simply read in the classroom, ‘around the table’. In this format, the music suggestions and ‘extra cast’ would obviously be dropped. Duration Around 25 to 30 minutes (about 5 minutes for each script) Play - for Performance Purposes: Use of the entire cast of 30: 6 speakers plus Woodland Creatures and Law Force, along with music suggestions. The length of performance can be reduced from 45 minutes plus to around 20 minutes by less use of music and the omission of one or more scenes. · Play/Performance: 30 minutes plus time for inclusion of music/routines – of around 15 minutes. Total: around 45 minutes – probably a bit longer. · Assembly or Class Play. The length of the play could be reduced to around 20 minutes by omitting one or more of the scenes. Sample Text: Badger: (Exploding) Toad learn his lesson? I don’t think so! Not with his Mole: (Interrupting hurriedly) More sandwiches, anyone? Badger: (To Mole) You’re way too soft on him, Mole. Toad: (Indignantly) Hello! I am still here you know! (Toad continues to fill his mouth with food) Badger: Taking advantage of your friends, as usual! (Badger helps himself to some sandwiches) Toad: Well, you don’t seem to be doing so badly, yourself! Good sandwiches? Badger: Indeed they are! You certainly know how to put together a fine picnic, Ratty! Ratty: Well, thank you. This ol’ brain of mine does have its uses! Mole: Such a clever animal! Badger: And just as well, some of the scrapes you lot got yourselves into! Gaoler: Oh, we know all about those! Stealing a car and driving it with no thought for the safety of others! Badger: That’s Toad, to a T! Toad: (Indignantly) Whatever do you mean? Badger: Just that, nine times of ten, you think of number one first! Toad: (Scratching head) Woah! Wait a minute! That’s way too many numbers! Badger: OK. Let me put it to you simply. (Pauses) You are one selfish, conceited creature! (Everyone gasps) Mole: Oh Badger! Must you? It’s such a lovely day and we were having such a fine time here by the river

Africa Assembly This African Class Play covers North, South, East, West and Central Africa Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - 15 minutes without inclusion of music (playlist of 14 wonderful songs - this could double length of performance!) With so much extraordinary wildlife, is there going to be any time left for just a mention of man's part in this vast continent?! Our trusty narrator will, as always, make sure this happens - striving as always to keep his cast members under control! He does, however, have his work cut out for him with this one - keen safari members, intrepid expeditionaries, dancing tribesmen, and Ancient Egyptians … all proving more than a match for the wildlife?! Sample Text Narrator: (Aside to audience) Phew! At least we were spared the music this time Music 13 In the Jungle the Mighty Jungle – Lion King (opening lines) Narrator: Oh no! I spoke too soon! Stop! You know what we need around here? A piece of real drama! (Narrator beckons to Children 25-29 and after a quick ‘conversation’, children line up and address the audience) Child 25: We would like to perform for you a brief African Adventure. Child 26: Starring me, the great explorer David Livingstone Child 27: And me, the equally great Henry Stanley. Child 26: Er, wait a minute! Who said anything about being equally great? I was the explorer, remember? You just found me! Child 27: Huh! Famous undoubtedly only because everyone remembers my words ‘Doctor Livingstone, I presume.’! My men and I (Cheers from Child 28 & 29) We went on to take part in the biggest African expedition ever. Child 28: (Wiping his/her brow) Phew! It’s a bit hot for me, under this blazing African sun! (Loud grunt/growl) Child 28: (Screaming) Help! What was that? Child 29: Maybe one of those fierce African tribes we’ve heard so much about! Both: Run! Child 28: Livingstone can stick his expedition! Child 29: We’re off home! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’.

Little Red Riding Hood Play cast of 6 – an alternative version of the Brothers Grimm version of the Fairy Tale This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm - but re-written, just as they did! These include Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel and Cinderella - all very alternative! This alternative Little Red Riding Hood play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 - 15 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty scripts are also available as assemblies, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Sample Text Little Red Riding Hood: But Grandma, what big ears you’ve got! Narrator: All the better to hear you with! (Aside) Oh! This is even better than I thought! I’m an absolute natural. I can hear that phone ringing now ‘Would you be available to star in the West End next week? We’ve heard such glowing reports about ..’ Little Red Riding Hood: Hey! Wait a minute! Narrator: No! No! What about the teeth? Little Red Riding Hood: Oh! OK. Now you come to mention it, they do need a bit of a clean! Narrator: No! No! Stick to the script! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh you mean, ‘But Grandma, what big teeth you’ve got’? Narrator: (Growling) All the better to eat you with! Little Red Riding Hood: (Nonchalantly) Yeah, right! Narrator: Hey! You’re meant to scream and run away! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh really? Narrator: Can’t you see, I’m not your grandma but a wicked wolf, come to eat you? Little Red Riding Hood: Well, the wolf in the woods seemed harmless enough; and (Little Red Riding Hood removes Narrator’s mask) I’ve been to enough bad school plays to realise you’re not the real thing! (Enter Wolf, growling savagely) Wolf: Whereas I am! (Little Red Riding Hood screams) (Enter Grandmother) Grandmother: Oh really, Little Red Riding Hood! Do you have to make all this noise? Little Red Riding Hood: But there’s a wolf in here! Can’t you see? And anyway, aren’t you meant to be unwell? Grandmother: Oh that’s just your mother, making a fuss as usual. Nothing wrong with me! Wolf: Well, that’s where I’m afraid we disagree! Grandmother: (Indignantly) Pardon? Narrator: Yes, I’m with the wolf on this one!

Mutual Respect Assembly - Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading time (not including songs/music suggestions) Another class play on 'Respect' is available for Key Stage I children. Sample Text: (Whole team do ‘high-fives’) Narrator: Good to see team spirit! Child 1: Oh we have plenty of that! We put in so many hours together Child 2: We sure earn each other’s respect! (Exit ‘Olympians’) Narrator: And that is so important! Just imagine if (Enter ‘Footballers 1 - 4’: Child 3, 4, 5 & 6) Music 5 Football Anthem – or theme music to Match of the Day (Footballers kick ball around, in bored, listless manner before dropping to the ground, for a break) (Enter Coach – Child 7, blowing whistle; all four footballers jump to their feet) Coach: Hey! Slacking off already? I don’t think so! Child 3: Oops! Sorry coach! Coach: You will be! Child 4: We were just Child 7: (Interrupting angrily) Yes, I could see! I repeat, slacking off! Not on my watch, you don’t! Now, that will be ten extra laps of the pitch for you! Off you go! (Exit Footballers, grumbling) Narrator: Oh dear! That seemed a bit harsh! Child 7: Oh? And you think if I’d strolled on and said, ‘Oh that’s fine. Don’t mind me! Just keep doing what you’re doing’ – that they’d have one jot of respect for me? Narrator: Well, er .. Child 7: Of course they wouldn’t. It’s not my job to pamper them. It is to make them better players. To give them pride in themselves! Nothing like a bit of discipline to achieve that! Narrator: Oh I couldn’t agree more! I’m all for discipline. Child 7: And respect! Narrator: Oh yes, that as well! Child 7: Nothing like a bit of healthy respect for your team, the opposition and yourself! Narrator: Wow! That’s a lotta respect! Child 7: You can never have too much respect, believe me!